Nobody Tells You How This Actually Feels

Everything I read about waiting on your publisher said the same things. Be patient. Trust the process. Focus on what you can control. Use this time to work on your next project.

It didn't make me feel better. Not even a little.

Here's what the articles don't tell you: you can know all the right things to think and still feel exactly the way you feel. Knowing that publishing houses juggle hundreds of manuscripts doesn't make the silence less loud. Knowing that editors are busy doesn't stop you from refreshing your email seventeen times before lunch.

I kept writing anyway. That part is true. The sequel was moving while book one sat in someone else's hands, which is either very productive or a very elaborate avoidance strategy. Probably both.

But the emotional side of it? Nobody really talks about that honestly. It's all very therapeutic — very "so how does that make you feel" and "what do you think happens next" — and sometimes what you actually need is not a gentle redirect to a YouTube video. Sometimes you need someone to just say yes, this is hard, it's supposed to feel like this, here's some chocolate and wine and we'll check back in tomorrow.

I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about the whole process. I trust my stories. I'm less sure I always trust the process around them. And I think that's allowed.

What I do know is that the waiting didn't kill the book. It's still here. I'm still here. And the sequel is further along than anyone expected, including me. 🐉